Thursday, August 21, 2008

The Wrong Sign

A priest and pastor were on the side of the road. They had a sign proclaiming: "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" and they showed it to each passing car.

One driver that drove by didn't seem to appreciate the sign and shouted at them as he whizzed by, "Leave me alone, you religious freaks!"

Seconds later, the priest said to the pastor heard a big splash. They looked at each other quizzically, and the priest said to the pastor, "Hey, you think we should just put up a sign that says "Bridge Out" instead?"

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Cats and Dogs

What are CATS?

Cats do whatever they want and you have no idea what they are thinking.

They rarely listen to you.

They're totally unpredictable.

They whine when they are not happy.

When you want to play, they want to be alone.

When you want to be alone, they want to play.

They expect you to cater to their every whim.

They're moody.

They leave hair everywhere.

They drive you nuts and cost you an arm and a leg.

CONCLUSION: Cats are little women in fur coats.


What are DOGS?

Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture they're allowed to sit on.

They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.

They growl when they are not happy.

They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't listen to you when you're in the same room.

When you want to play, they want to play.

When you want to be alone, they want to play.

They are great at begging.

They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.

They leave their toys everywhere.

They do disgusting things with their mouths and then kiss you.

CONCLUSION: Dogs are little MEN in fur coats.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Sometimes it does take a Rocket Scientist

Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity.

The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains.

Arrangements were made. But when the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin.

Horrified Britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the U.S. scientists for suggestions.

NASA's response was just one sentence, "Thaw the chicken."

Monday, August 18, 2008

The Mexican Navy

A guy goes into a Texas bar all dejected, and orders a drink.

The barkeep says, "Here, you look down. It's on the house if you'll tell me your story."

"Okay," the guy says in a heavy Mexican accent. "Ess like theese: I jused to be an inspector for the Mexican Navy."

"Really!" the barkeep says, surprised. "I didn't know Mexico had a Navy."

"Oh, chure," the inspector says.

"So, what did you inspect?"


"What did you have to do?"

"Well," the inspector says, taking a big drink. "I get into the submarine with all the other guys in the Navy and I say, 'Take it down to 100 feet!'"

"And what happens?"

"Then I go around and check for leaks. Then I say, 'Take it down to 200 feet!'"

"And then what happened?"

"Then I go around and check for leaks again. And if everything goes well, I say, 'Take it down to a thousand feet!'"

"And then what happens?"

The Mexican inspector shakes his head sadly. "Then those damn adobe walls jes fall a

Sunday, August 17, 2008

The Flat Tire and the Mental Institution

A man had a flat tire in front of an institution for the mentally insane.

It was getting close to dark as he hurriedly started to change the tire.

He noticed one of the inmates sitting on the other side of the fence watching. When he started to put the new tire on, he discovered that he had lost the lug nuts. He looked all around the car with no luck and pondered, out loud, "Now what am I going to do?"

To which the inmate replied, "Why don't you take one nut off each of the other 3 tires to hold that one on until you get to a garage?"

The man said, "That's a great idea, I thought you were supposed to be crazy."

The man said, "I AM crazy, but I'm not stupid."

Free Comics!!!

I'm all into entertainment, tech, and old stuff. Thankfully, this blog post will bring all three things together.

I love comic books and I found a place to download comics for free. Golden Age Comics offers public domain comics for free download. When I say "public domain", I mean comics books on which the copyright has run out. Most of this comics were written and released in the thirties, forties, and some in the fifties.

There are many comic names that are now defunct like: Jo-Jo, Congo King, Blue Beetle, Cat-Man, Black Hood, Green Lama, Blue Bolt, Crime Clinic, the Flame, and Black Terror. There even some of the original Captain Marvel's that are copyright free.

Almost all of comic publishers are no longer around.

Here are a couple of tips about using the site. When you sign-up, you have to go to the forum to register. Your downloads are limited on how much you can download per day. You can download 1GB or 1,000 files, which ever comes first. The file size limit comes first because the files range from 5 to 50 mb.

The administrators keep a close eye on the legal status of the comics. They keep a list of what comics are public domain and which are still copyrighted. So there is not legal danger.

Download and enjoy comics without any worries.

Golden Age comics Homepage

Now, of course, you'll need a way to view and read the comics because the files that you download are in .cbr, .rar. and .zip formats. There are several special programs that you can use to open these files.

The best one that I found was ComicRack. I won't go into detail now, but ComicRack allows you to open and catalog you e-comics. The website says, "It is an all-in-one solution to read and manage your eComic library. You can think of it as iTunes for eComics with much of the same functionality."

Again have fun reading free comics.

ComicRack Homepage

Monday, August 11, 2008

A Knight and His Men

A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting.

"How are we faring?" asks the king.

"Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west."

"What?!?" shrieks the king. "I don't have any enemies to the west!"

"Oh," says the knight. "Well, you do now!"

Book trading and the web

I hate selling books online because I'm never sure what to set the price at so someone will buy it. Otherwise, the book sits there and never sells.

I have found a great alternative, it's called book swapping. There are many different book-swapping sites, but the one that I found and like is BookMooch. It is totally free to sign up and use. Other book-swapping sites are free, but leaning towards charging a fee. John Buckman, the founder, promises that they there will be no fee because there is not need for the site to make money.

The site works on a point system. Within the US, one book costs one point. If you order a book from a foreign country, it costs you two points and Bookmooch give the person a bonus point.

In order to get points, you need to add books to you inventory. Each book is work a 1/10 th of a point. Once you get a point, you can start mooching.

But a word of caution. Your account will be suspended after you mooch several books. The suspension will be lifted once you send out several books and the moochers acknowledge that they received your books.

Here are some statistics on BookMooch. Membership, which has grown to around 74,000 in over 90 countries, is open to anyone and is free. There is heavy community participation in its running and organisation. About 500,000 book titles are available and about 2000 books are swapped per day.

Again, it's great. Check it out.


Wikipedia page

My Bookmooch page